


drink up, little boy (and wash down your tears)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: I've lost control, please save me from myself (4.08 fix-it) [3]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Backstory, Bruises, Character Study, Drabble, Flashbacks, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 05:30:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12788052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Connor was not Oliver’s first relationship. Not even his first boyfriend. Not by a long shot.-Once upon a time, there was a boy.There always is, isn’t there?-“There are no happy endings, Oliver, so you might as well just stay with me.”An Oliver Hampton backstory.





	drink up, little boy (and wash down your tears)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Look Outside" by IAMX.

Connor was not Oliver’s first relationship. Not even his first boyfriend. Not by a long shot.

-

Once upon a time, there was a boy.

There always is, isn’t there?

-

“How many times can someone fall in love?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Just thinking.”

-

His name was Jeremiah, and everyone who knew about them, who cared about Oliver, even after he came out, thought that they were a match made in heaven.

_ He’s always talking about how much he loves you,  _ they say to Oliver.  _ He’s always talking about how beautiful you are. _

-

Tears, and then:

“Fuck me harder.”

_ I want to forget. _

-

Oliver knows what a toxic relationship looks like. He knows how fucked up things can get before murder even enters the story.

-

“There are no happy endings, Oliver, so you might as well just stay with me.”

-

Oliver knows a lot of things beyond just hacking.

He knows that bruises can come in a variety of shapes and colors.

He knows that words hurt just as much as hits.

He knows that love can be a monster.

-

In the movies, the gay boy is either the comic relief, the joke, or a plot device, a suicide or tragedy to move the plot along.

Oliver has certainly never been the funny one.

-

“Marry me. Seriously, marry me.”

“What?”

-

Their story didn’t have a happy ending. True love stories never do- they just keep living and loving until one of them disappears off of the page.

Oliver nearly faded away.

-

Oliver realized that he couldn't wait for someone else to save him. He had to save himself. There was no waiting for a white knight.

It took forever to escape, but he did it.

-

Sometimes, when he’s kissing Connor, when he’s soaking in the feeling of Connor pressed against his counter, when he remembers that Connor stayed instead of leaving him, he thinks of everything Jeremiah wasn’t. He remembers that when he found out he had HIV, Connor held his hand. He remembers that when he ended up bruised after one of their fights, Jeremiah blamed him for the bruises he’d inflicted.

-

“Oliver Hampton, will you marry me?”

“...I’m so sorry.”

-

Connor’s blood is soaking into Oliver’s fingertips, coating the ring he just proposed with, and Oliver can’t stop flashing back to Jeremiah, how his ex would leave wounds that never healed. He remembers how every one of Jeremiah’s words tore through him like a bullet.

There is blood between his fingers, just as there was long ago.

Connor can't die, or Jeremiah would be right.

(For the sake of Oliver's sanity, Jeremiah can't be right.)


End file.
